Cat (willowisp) wrote,

  • Mood:
Today is the second in what's going to be, if it follows the pattern of previous months, a bad 7-10 days for me. I tend to be more cranky, more paranoid, more easily depressed, and in all relatively unhappy. It was this 7-10 day period which spurred the visit to the doctor the other day and the ultimate switch to another medication which will treat the PCOS from a different angle. I hope this is the last time I feel this way for a predictable and extended period.

It was also a strange day in terms of doing things. I got quite a bit done, yet looking back none of the things seem to have justified a whole day. I got the kitchen cleaned, some family stuff taken care of, a dead-tree journal started to record how much the various jewelry I'm auctioning has to go for in order for me to break even, some postage rates looked up and some chicken soup cooked for Andy, who's running a low-grade fever, and of course my walk.

I also spent a lot of time jittery and restless, and I had what can best be described as a controlled binge -- I ate stuff I wasn't supposed to, but not all that much of it. This is normal for the time range, and as long as I can make myself exercise, I think I can counteract any outright destructive stuff I do to myself. I also know how to recognize that I'm taking things the wrong way on MUSHes (things like thinking no one commented on something I said because everyone is annoyed with me, etc) and I log off when this happens. If I disappear suddenly or simply don't show up on various games the next few days, this is why.

Oh, and another thing I did: looked at apartments and houses in the SGI area. The way I figure at the moment, if someone at Ex Luna or NVidia suddenly realizes they could use someone with Andy's qualifications, their offer would have to be pretty impressive as compared to SGI's. I don't know that a job which brushes people off as casually as those two companies did treat their employees well enough to be a good match for Andy, and SGI has made it abundantly clear that they liked him and want him back. That counts for a lot, especially given how much he enjoyed interning there two summers ago. I would have liked to stay in the NC area, but I'll be content as long as I have Andy and the kitties wherever we end up.

I brooded a lot on my walk tonight, which is where that last little bit came from. It was more or less a case of articulating how I've felt about the whole situation. The only other interesting result of the walk was seeing this really cool winged insect trundling along. It was big and bulky and brown in color, and its wings do not look like they could support it. They were the neat part though: at the point where they met the body they were a clear and medium green. The veins were green as well, but got paler the further down they extended. The wings themselves went from green to clear, except for the veins, but even the veins were clear by the end.

Ok, there was one other cool result of the walk. My blood sugar's 116. I think it's time for a sugar-free cookie.
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